Oscillation

When the lights went out he knew the time was near. He could see the others moving around in the dimness with no trouble - as if the room was perfectly well lit. He noted at about the same time how the sounds around him had taken on a muffled quality. There was a cough, a sigh, perhaps the sound of Sarah crying, but it all sounded to his ears to be happening in another room.

He felt the weight of the blankets, and the coolness of his uncovered arms. He felt the pillow running along his ears and the top of his head. It seemed he was sinking more deeply into it. He appreciated these sensations. They reminded him of this place. Home. They reminded him of summer days and smiles and kisses on the porch swing. They reminded him of children playing in the yard. He thought back to his own childhood. The time his brother had nearly drowned in the creek. He’d sunk into the mud at the creek’s edge and it took a lot of pulling and praying to yank him free. He thought of his dog, Sleepy, who’d always been happiest lying the beneath the rocking chair.

And Sarah. He bought her an ice cream. When he handed it to her, her eyes opened wide. She was so proud of the treat he thought for a moment she wasn’t going to eat it, but instead try to tuck it away to take home. Then, when she did finally take a bite, he lost his heart to her happy smile. And when she offered, it wasn’t the ice cream but the intimacy of sharing a spoon that set his heart spinning.

At church he put his arm around her just as the song leader told everyone to rise. Of course, he thought, that’s always the way. He stood with the congregation and opened to the page in the hymnal. The text was hard to see clearly - but no matter, he knew the words to this one. We shall meet on that beautiful shore. By and by. By and by.

Words coming from the darkness. A hand on his. The touch of lips on the corner of his mouth.

When his brother came home from the war, they’d gone fishing. To their usual spot. He’d tried not to ask about how it had been over there, but he was young and curious. His brother spoke of one or two of his fellow soldiers. He told a story about going into a village on leave and his buddy Franklin’s misadventures with a prostitute. They caught a lot of fish that day. They’d flopped and twisted up the string.

The light around the figure in the corner was too bright to allow him to make out a face. He asked, who’s there, but got no response.

His feet were cold now. Some thought within him seemed to say they were no longer of any matter. An odd thought, but one that filled him with some reassurance. For the most part his body seemed distant. He most clearly felt his feet and the dryness of his lips and tongue. That dry feeling certainly wasn’t pleasant, but also not as uncomfortable as he might have expected. A sip of water might be nice though. Then, as if he’d asked out loud, he felt the sponge. It was moist and cool, but little water made it into his mouth. Most ran down his chin and on to - into nothingness.

There was a boy on the swing next to his. The boy had red hair and long-sleeved cotton shirt striped horizontally in yellow, red and black. His pants were brown and belled out at his feet. The boy was a good swinger. He swung higher and higher, at either end of his every lengthening arch - in a moment suspended in space - he’d giggle to himself.

After a time slowed his swinging, then dropped his feet to stop himself. He turned and asked, “What’s your name?”

My name?

“Yes, kid, your name. What’s your name? Don’tcha got one?”

My name is- My name is Henry. Can you- Can you see me?

The boy laughed. “Of course, I can see you, silly. That’s funny. Can i see you?” He laughed again.

Is that funny? I didn’t mean to be funny. Do you know where my parents are? I don’t know how to find them.

“Oh, I’m sure they’re around here someplace,” the boy said. “You’ll run into them eventually.”

I wish I could find them now. I’d like to go home.

“Yeah, that’s pretty common.”

But I don’t know where my home is.

“Listen. Henry? Is that right? Listen, Henry, it’s not quite time for all that yet. Why don’t ya just swing for a while. It’s fun. Here, watch me.” With that the boy pushed off and began kicking his legs. Swinging higher and higher.

He wondered if it were night, but supposed it didn’t matter very much. Time was different now. It had taken on a new texture - somehow thinner, nearly transparent.

Dimly he heard a coarse sort of clicking sound - like a fan who’s motor was on it’s last legs. It had an in and an out quality to it. Winding down. Things were winding down. He felt Sarah near him and knew she was holding his hand. He felt others around him too, but wasn’t quite sure who. If he could look more clearly - but the effort was too great. Then from the darkness above him came a light. Soft, but bright, it grew larger and larger around him. Sleepy was there with him - in the bed with him - or maybe he wasn’t in the bed any longer.

The dog licked his face, and the light surrounded the both of them.